We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. Lucille Ball said it best when she said: You know you are getting old when taking your morning pills takes longer than eating your pancakes and sausage.
Well, your mom just told me you are You know you are getting old when you give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely! I made a list about the words of wisdom I wanted to give you for your birthday. Unfortunately, the thrift shops were closed. When you finally return and doctor asks what took so long, act really angry and say?
You gotta keep sticking your finger in them until you find the one that you want to get.
Ask doctor if masturbation can make you blind. If he says no, get up and leave. When doctor asks you to take a deep breath, say you forgot how to. Doctors waiting room needs some music. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. I can't figure out if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Now I could roast a turkey! You know you are getting old when it takes twice as long to look half as good. Ask dentist if you can have some of the laughing gas. When he looks at you, shrug. You miss percent of the shots u never take. You know you are getting old when you go to bed before your kids You know you are getting old when there are fewer things you are willing to wait in line for.
When dentist picks up drill, scream, stand up, kick him in the face and run out of the building.
Let me give you one single piece of advice, that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: When doctor hands you prescription paper, give yourself a papercut and scream Malpractice. I never mind what I speak. The secret to staying young is lying about your age.
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